Our society is wired in a way that makes an average couple think that a soul pleasing sex is beyond their reach; maybe such couples should disabuse their minds and make a rethink. An intense and fulfilling sex life begins with a man’s or a woman’s thought pattern and general life’s attitude. Actually sex is designed in a way that each time any married partner remembers sex, the mere thought of it should instantly produce a warmth feeling towards their spouse. It should create a raw spark and produce an immediate arousal and sexual escapades expectations. But ironically, it is most time the other way round, because many married lovers never really remember having any satisfactory sexual moment with.....their spouse. Their warm feelings and anticipation to have sex is either towards their secret lovers, or their one night stand involvement with a call girl, or their fantasy with a porn movie star or secret heart affair/ sexual adventure with a new sex partner.
But I can tell you authoritatively that it is not only within a couple’s power to have a passionate, stimulating and fulfilling sex life, but it is also their responsibility to make it a reality. The more prepared and active a partner is in seeking and giving pleasure to his or her mate, the more he or she will get thrilling and revitalising sex in return. Some couples say “oh I can’t even remember the last time we made exceptional or unforgettable love.” Hmmm if that is the case, just stop for a moment and drop all you are doing and just for a moment think about making passionate, hot and juicy call to your spouse right now and you will be amazed how aroused, ready and overwhelming you will be right away!!! You see!!!
Now with this level of feeling, arousal and readiness, give your spouse a call and book an appointment for a special meeting. Even if you are on a special ‘fasting assignment’, this special appointment can still be booked after the fast. To make sure you keep this special appointment, please for once give it an exceptional attention. If you work in an office, you may for once leave before the closing hours to beat the traffic and be punctual for ‘this special appointment!’ If you are a business person, make sure everything is in place and put ‘this special appointment’ on your top priority list for the day. If you are a nursing mother, ask someone else to do the school runs for you and help take care of the kids just for few hours to attend to your ‘special appointment.’
When you are at the venue of the appointment, be it in your home or a special eat out or an hotel or guest house or an unknown destination, please do not wait to be turned on. Start by turning yourself on, how you may ask? By still thinking on how tasty, fabulous and creative sex is going to be between the both of you. The more active your thoughts are, the sexier you will feel. And the sexier you feel, the better sex will be regardless of your age, shape, weight, look, health, present prevailing situation, just name it! Just make sure you are in your best frame of mind because studies have shown that married partners with high self-esteem and better mindset enjoy brilliant sex than those who do not feel good about themselves and think the worse of every situation.
If you as a married partner are experiencing a communication roadblock with your spouse and there seems to always be a great wall of misunderstanding between both of you on important issues, remember great sex is just another way of communicating with your lover. If you keep the line of good sexual communication open, you will be able to dialogue on other issues of life freely and sincerely. What is sexual communication? Simply put is the ability to talk about what you find enjoyable, sensational, adventurous and memorable in a guilt-free atmosphere. And the ability to persevere and bear with your partner till they come into the same sexual wavelength with you.
The more you occasionally create room for this ‘special appointment’ scenario, you will be amazed that the more both of you will have more time to work on improving your sex life, and the more some inhibitions and preconceptions about what you would or would not do with your husband or wife changes for better. We are all sexual creatures and our bodies have a way of giving us first-hand information about our sexuality when we spend more time exploring the intricacies of the makeup of these bodies. In exploring what gets your spouse fired up, try not to be critical, your spouse’s sex drive is like a console with thousands of buttons that when you touch or tap or press rightly, you will in return get plenty of clichés as well as some strange and wonderful surprises that will encourage you for booking other special appointments.
This will take you two far into the worlds of various discoveries. For instance, would you believe that a turn-on for your spouse might just be an innocent thing? Besides, the older a spouse gets, so the sexual approach to get the best out of them differs and deepened. This is because partners change in marriage, they change in age, need, desires, emotional and also in sexual needs. Adopting different types of sex makes room for a truly amazing sexual enjoyment. Most up-to-date couples do not just have sex — they have great and brilliant sex all because they subject themselves to learning. In other words, couples who are ready to learn will discover so much about sex.
- Funmi Akingbade
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