Happiness is Governor Amaechi - Patience Akpan-Obong

Patience Akpan-Obong

Money brings happiness, a colleague once declared to his students. There was uproar at such epicurean and materialistic view of life. Everyone had an opinion. After the students had had a say in the matter, the professor concluded the discussion with: “Tell me how happy a man is when he’s inhaling the fumes from the exhaust pipe of his dilapidated car?”
Perhaps money does bring happiness. However, if there was a key to happiness someone would have bottled it already and stamped a high price tag on it. The rest of us would be too poor to afford it. Okay, so, in that sense, money would buy happiness. Until then and even then, we take our happiness (albeit ephemeral) from those moments that burst suddenly into the mundaneness of our universe.
I observed one of those moments last month. It was a privilege to witness pure, perfect and unadulterated ‘genuine-made-in-England’ love of a child for her mom and the joy of a reunion. The spectacularity of that moment was highlighted by its stark contrast with the tears of separation that occurred hours earlier when the mom reluctantly left her baby so she could sing as a guest minister in a church. She had wanted to go with the baby but I persuaded her to leave her at home where my younger children, my mom and a friend from out of town were only happy to be babysitters. I thought mom would minister better if she didn’t have to worry about her child in a church they were visiting for the first time.

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The mom, award-winning gospel singer, Pastor Aity Dennis-Inyang, was in Arizona to fulfil a promise that she made to me when we first met last year. She would sing at my 50th birthday party, she said emphatically. I also wanted her to minister to a different crowd and bless the larger Christian community here. I therefore contacted Pastor Michael Olotu of the Cornerstone Worship Center (a parish of the Redeemed Church of God in Christ). He made the smart decision to invite her to minister in his church!
As the main entertainer at my birthday party, Pastor Aity was so riveting that had there been stones in the banquet hall (and there were not), they would have been forced to rise up in praise and dancing. Her performance and ministration gave character and quality to an evening that was already loaded with fun, fabulousness and glamour. The following morning, I drove Pastor Aity and three of my out-of-town guests to Pastor Olotu’s church. As we say in our Christian circles, the spirit moved mightily in the worship center that morning.

Hours later, she was home. Her 15-month old baby had been playing with my younger children upstairs. When she heard her mom’s voice, she ran down the staircase laughing and ‘talking’ excitedly. Mom ran up and scooped up the baby. The look on the child’s face was that of pure joy and love. I stood there transfixed and awed. Unfortunately, the moment was over before I could think of capturing it on my phone video recorder. I knew that I would never find adequate words to describe that moment. I said to Pastor Aity: “Happiness is watching the joy and love on the face of a child as she scrambles downstairs to reunite with her mom.” I thought of Mercy Me’s “I can only imagine” (song). I no longer imagine because I have seen a slice of what it would be like when I’m “surrounded by (His) glory.” Hopefully, I will run as fast as Pastor Aity’s daughter did to meet the One whom my heart awaits. Not that I am in a hurry, mind you!

As you can tell, it doesn’t take much to make me a happy camper. I certainly don’t need a new car to create moments of “happiness is …” Of course a brand new car, especially if it’s anything Honda in the unique dark cherry pearl colour, will make me break into hallelujah any day. That’s what the “fine boy” in Rivers State, also known as Governor Rotimi Amaechi, should have bought if he had sought my opinion. A 2014 dark cherry pearl Odyssey would hardly give him this much headache … being accused of driving a “soccer mom” car doesn’t count as headache.
As it is, after blowing billions of Riverians’ oil money to buy himself a nice ride, he still doesn’t have happiness. Instead, he’s spending all his time arguing that his jet cost ‘only’ N7bn rather than N9bn. In vintage Nigerian politics, the focus is on the actual amount paid for a private jet rather than the more fundamental issue of a state government owning a private jet at all. And for most people in Rivers State, there is no difference between seven billion and nine billion because even if they don’t spend a kobo of all their earnings for their entire lifetime, they will never make N1bn. The question that should keep Mr. Amaechi awake at night is: “Why O why would you spend the people’s money that way?”

Nigerian politicians are always quick to tell us how things are in the United States of America when those ‘things’ fit their purposes (such as the cost of gasoline). However, they are silent when it comes to emulating best practices. I can’t imagine any governor in the 50 states of this federation taking out $45m from the state treasury to buy a private jet! In 2010, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie got into trouble for using a police helicopter to attend his son’s baseball games. The pressure was so much that he had to pay about $2,100 to the state as fare for two chopper rides.
And our people are arguing over whether it was $45m or $57m that was spent on a private jet. Since there are no lines between official and personal business in Nigeria, one can’t even make the case that the governor of a riverine state needs a helicopter (which is cheaper than a private jet) for better access to remote parts of the state.
The reasonable thing would be for Governor Amaechi to sell the private jet and put the money back in the treasury. That would give me another entry in my book of happy moments: Happiness is a Nigerian politician reversing a course of action in response to public opinion. I’m not holding my breath though.

-  Patience Akpan-Obong (pakpan2004@yahoo.com)

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