Last week we started an extensive
thought-provoking discussion: we started enumerating what actually goes
on in the minds of partners shortly after sex. Many partners in
relationships are eager to travel down the memory lane with their loved
ones immediately after sex. This inquisition is based on the quest to
know if or whether their partners’ professed love and commitment is
actually a reality or a mirage. Dating partners or intending couples are
not left out either. They want to know the truth. It has helped a lot
of ‘about to be married’ partners to take decisions about their
relationships. It has even helped avert a supposedly doomed marriage.
Continue reading after the cut....
When a guy is only interested in a sexual
intimacy and not a committed relationship, one of the cardinal signals
is his thought shortly after sex, especially in a one-night stand. Once
he is done, the next thing he does is staring at the ceiling with
thoughts of choosing the right time to bid goodbye or how to get such
free sexual favour over and again. And sometimes, some guys might not
really want to end such so far the girl in question is willing to freely
give sexual favour. They can play along till they are ready to change
sex partners. At this crucial time, it is important for the girl in
question to cleverly ask what the guy is actually thinking about. When
he is caught unawares, his reaction, facial expression, body movement
and verbal expression or remark will definitely give him away. However
some guys are so smart and could outwit the girl and pretend they are in
such relationship for real. But close observation is needed here; it is
important for the lady to watch out for some unconscious remarks,
jokes, expressions and telephone conversations.
Some other guys who are indecisive
nonetheless may be ready for commitment. They may be wondering what step
to take next. Should he be calling her up to ask for another date?
Should he be making conversations with her on a daily basis? Should he
make his intention of commitment to her known? Can sex be the true
measure of her commitment? How must he behave with her now that they had
quenched their physical thirst? At this stage, a girl in love should
try and start a sincere soul searching conversation with him so as to be
able to measure the level of his commitment. Many times, girls make the
mistake of thinking that sexual relationship prior to marital
commitment makes the relationship solid. I do not think so because there
may be nothing left to imagination again. Sexual encounters between the
married seal the bond of intimacy more than imagined but sexual
encounters between singles sour the union. Sex is never a good measure
of a commitment in a relationship.
Sex is a means to an end and not an end
itself; so it must be handled with every atom of carefulness. It must
never be put up as bait for a good relationship. The primary test of
commitment is to look out for real love because everyone wants to love
and be loved. Even in a marriage relationship, great sex life between
husband and wife does not connote nor present a great marriage, but
rather an established loving companionship.
Singles should not jump the process and
make sex a yardstick for a good one. It is better not to be in a
relationship than be in one that sex is only the activity of the day.
Singles must be convinced that the relationship is by choice and not by
force. Any partner that forcefully demands for sex is an abusive
partner. Dating relationship is a friendship relationship; friendship
and not sexual passion is what holds relationship. When a partner in a
relationship does not see reason for complete commitment, he or she is
not expected to be in a relationship. Marriage is not for girls and boys
because boys or girls always want opportunity without responsibilities.
And when talking about responsibilities, age is irrelevant. When it
comes to maturity, growing up is not the same thing as growing old and
mature. There is more at stake in a relationship than just two people
trying to meet each other’s sexual needs all the time. It is far complex
than that. So next time a single is trying to envisage, envision,
visualise, picture and imagine the thought of his or her partner, he
must ask himself whether the relationship is worth the sexual sacrifices
or not.
Share your thoughts...thanks!
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