Chike Okoye is a Nigerian student based
in the United States of America. He works part time to keep up his
college fee payments and sends money home regularly through the Western
Union to support his ailing father, Chief Okoye, and his siblings. Chief
Okoye had a stroke three years ago, which left him severely
incapacitated. He had no medical insurance in place, and very few
relations or friends were in a position to, or were inclined to assist
with the nursing care, physiotherapy and medication required; this took a
huge toll on the family finances.
In October last year, Chief Okoye died.
Chike, his eldest son was expected to travel home to take charge of
burial arrangements. As his father was titled, expectations were high
for a lavish funeral. The family house was in a state of disrepair and
badly in need of refurbishment. A team of painters and builders was
dispatched to ‘touch up’ the compound, install air conditioning units, a
generator and spruce up the place just to keep up appearances. Chief
Okoye’s remains were kept in the mortuary for three months, at a
significant cost while arrangements were being made.
Continue reading after the cut...
“Well-wishers” expected to be fed for
several weeks prior to the funeral and beyond reported daily as early as
7am. Some “elders” even suggested that the cow Chike bought was too
small and that the portions being served would never go round. Large
colourful posters announced the passing of “a rare gem” and friends and
associates placed expensive obituaries and goodwill messages in the
print and electronic media to show association and sympathy.
Sadly, by the time Chike returned to the
US after the ceremonies were over, his finances were badly depleted
that he had to withdraw from college and secure a full-time job to build
up resources to be able to continue his education.
Funeral traditions vary in Nigeria
according to the community. For example, in some parts of the
South-South and South-East, a whole week is set aside. The body lies in
state in an elaborately decorated chamber and direct descendants of the
deceased are dressed in expensive ceremonial garments. Family “uniforms”
are made available at a cost for immediate and extended family and
friends to show a sense of community and belonging.
Guests turn out in large numbers for the
duration of the festivities and are fed and entertained. They are
usually grouped in specially designated areas reserved for in-laws,
classmates, club members, friends, business associates and members of
the extended family. Buses may be chartered to transport some of the
guests back to their destinations. Family members gather again on the
7th or 40th day and again a year later for yet another celebration to
mark the anniversary.
Some people feel pressured to sell
valuable assets, including shares and family land to give a ‘befitting
burial’ to loved ones. The ceremony is expected to display as much pomp
and pageantry as a carnival. Critics assess the funerals and those who
do not meet up to expectation are viewed with a level of scorn. There is
also a form of extortion; there are tales of the coffin disappearing on
the morning of the funeral only to reappear after a tidy sum has been
paid.
Sometimes the corpse may be kept in the
mortuary for an extended period at exorbitant cost while elaborate
arrangements are underway or until close relations are able to agree on a
convenient date for all to attend the funeral. Mortuary costs continue
to mount after several date changes occasioned by disagreements. For
those with titles, ceremonies can drag on for a very long time.
One must not lose sight of the
distressed and distracted descendants trying to focus on the work as the
D-day looms, as well as the lost man-hours of absence from work for
extended periods.
An Anglican Bishop in Uganda once caused
a stir when at a funeral he publicly denounced the practice, saying it
was “a form of corruption that impoverishes bereaved families,” leaving
them indebted for years as they strive to meet up with societal
expectations. At that funeral, the son of a poor widow was forced to
slaughter the family’s only milk cow in order to feed teeming crowds at
her funeral.
In Nigeria, the Anglican Communion and
the Catholic Diocese have played a significant role in trying to
encourage moderation and curb some of the excesses to drive much needed
change in our society. In some areas, the dead must be buried within two
weeks otherwise the church will not be involved in the funeral rites.
There is a lesson to be learned from the Moslem faith, where the dead
are buried swiftly and ceremonies are usually completed with relative
simplicity.
Death continues to be an extremely
sensitive subject and we seldom discuss our mortality. If you wish to be
buried like royalty, pre-plan your funeral and set aside funds
specifically for the event so that loved ones are not further burdened
with a myriad of financial and other decisions at an already awful time.
In a funeral plan, you can incorporate
all your specific wishes; as regards where you wish to be buried, the
preferred type of funeral service and rites, music, flowers, mortuary,
casket, entertainment, clothing, and most importantly, funding,
including a spending limit. The plan should be revealed to a confidant
that is in a position to implement it.
Funerals often take place in villages
that lack even the most basic infrastructure; clean water, proper
sanitation, basic health care, schools, electricity and roads. The
contrast becomes all the more glaring when for the duration of the
obsequies, the quiet simplicity of a sleepy village is transformed and
bursting with the activity and opulence of the funeral ceremonies, which
take place in an environment of extreme poverty and lack.
- Nimi Akinkugbe (nakinkugbe@punchng.com)
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