The choice of the room should provide for
enough privacy and create a romantic atmosphere. Dim lights are more
romantic. All these have a calming effect on the couple and help to
remove any anxiety and feeling of embarrassment. Dark light is not
sexually appealing at all.
They can then graduate into holding of
hands and maintaining good body contact. The body contact should take a
longer time to enable the lady especially to be more relaxed and
prepared for the job ahead. Then lovingly, undress each other. It is
needful for the newly wedded to undress in front of each other since it
helps to quickly handle shyness.
Continue reading after the cut..
As the undressing goes on, hugging and
kissing should also come in gently and at intervals. After removing one
piece of dress, kissing and hugging should follow before removing the
next piece. It is important not to give room for embarrassment at all
because you are now husband and wife.
Make sure this lingers on until you both
feel a sense of complete relaxation [this is also called love play].
You do not need to be in a hurry at all; hurrying through this stage is
one of the things that kill sexual confidence and trust. And the moment
this is lost at this particular stage, it will greatly affect the sex
bed henceforth. Remember the wedding night is just the beginning of a
lifetime of sexual enjoyment together.
This could generate to full caressing of
each other’s upper body like the breasts, most especially the nipple. It
should not be roughly fondled. Let the man use his tongue gently on the
breast; it is very stimulating and exciting. The lady should let her
husband know whenever he does something that excites her. This will
encourage the bride to be more relaxed and have a loving attitude
towards sex and her husband. The bride should also try to caress
whichever part the husband desires to be touched and kissed.
Love-play should continue for about 30
minutes or more. To start with, a new bride needs a longer time than an
older wife who had been married for many years. However, women generally
take longer time to get into the mood of lovemaking regardless of their
age. Through constant practice, some couples know when the wife is
ready for the man to ‘enter.’ It is, therefore, advisable that the man
continues to caress the wife’s clitoris and the lips of the vagina to
feel any wetness. When this is felt, it means the woman is ready for the
show. It is important for the groom to make sure the bride is wet and
ready before he penetrates her and both can always use an additional
lubricant if it still feels painful down there.
Remember to always insert the penis in
the gentlest way possible and never follow insertion immediately with
vigorous thrusting as this usually decreases arousal in ladies. Better
still, let her do the inserting herself to prevent entering in the wrong
place or through the wrong angle. Sometimes even after insertion, the
lady might still need a light caressing of the clitoris to aid her
orgasm. Besides, it also prevents the new bride from undergoing undue
pains, which may portray a negative picture of sex from the outset.
There is a possibility of the lady not
reaching orgasm on the first night or at the initial stage of marriage.
Couples should not stress themselves, they have more time to live
together and as time goes on, they will learn how to build each other’s
excitement and satisfy each other more. The husband must bear in mind
that at the time of first sexual intimacy, he should not strive to bring
his wife to orgasm with the penis in the vagina. She will definitely
have some soreness, (if her hymen is still intact) and there is no
reason to make this worse. After the penis is inserted, therefore, the
husband should reach his orgasm quickly, withdraw and then stimulate his
wife gently with his finger to bring her to orgasm. I would love to say
here to the bride that the size of the man’s penis plays a big part in
how pleasurable or painful sex can feel. If the groom penetrates into
his bride and it feels too painful, then he should start by having sex
using just the tip of his penis. Over time, the groom can penetrate a
little deeper and then sex for her would start to feel more comfortable.
The chances of the bride experiencing an orgasm the very first time may
be low, so don’t keep your expectations high.
The End!
- Funmi Akingbade/Punch
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