[*ONLY FOR MARRIED COUPLES] Guide to first time painless sex for virgin couple (3)

*Please before you read; this is for strictly married couples....NOT FOR MINORS!

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If the bride is wondering how orgasm feels like, it is a sensation that comes in waves of pleasure, like a pleasant muscle spasm. But if you did not experience an orgasm weeks or months after, do not be too anxious. An orgasm means two things. Firstly, the bride had a great time. And secondly, the groom was awesome in bed! But if you’re having sex for the first time, there’s a good chance that the bride may not be able to reach orgasm. Neither of you should feel bad about it. Instead, celebrate the fact that the sex was intimate and perfect, orgasm or not.

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Many people want to know how a virgin and a non-virgin couple enjoy sex for the first time. When two lovers have sex for the first time and one of them is more sexually experienced than the other, sex always gets more comfortable when the experienced partner takes control and helps the partner who’s still a virgin. But the challenge arising from this type of situation is when the virgin happens to be the groom and the experienced is the bride. The simple truth here is that if the groom is the one who’s still a virgin, he should drop his manly ego and be truthful to his bride. He should not try to overdo things by pretending not to be a virgin. Remember, it’s your first time. So take it slow, enjoy the sensation and learn from the experienced partner. However, remember not to go in too quickly; penetrating too soon could do two things. The over-excitement could force you to ejaculate really quickly, or secondly, you may go limp. Indulge in foreplay for at least about fifteen or more minutes before you penetrate her so that your mind and your penis can warm up slowly to the act.

Do pause if you’re about to ejaculate. While having sex for the first time, you’re bound to lose control now and then. When that happens, stop moving your pelvis around, take a few deep breaths and distract your mind by kissing her while your penis calms down inside her. Don’t be vigorous; you could hurt yourself. And secondly, you could end up ejaculating quickly. Pause for a few seconds every now and then and just focus on her. Move in and out slowly in a predictable rhythm and she’ll enjoy it a lot more because she’ll know just what to expect and feel. Avoid slipping out often. Slow down your movements and try to move your bodies in sync with each other. Keep an eye on her expressions; if she seems to be in pain, slow down or pull out a little. Keeping an eye on her expressions is the easiest way to know if she’s enjoying the sex or just bearing it.

A groom might ask, why did I suddenly lose my erection the first night? When a man’s heart starts to race with excitement, the blood flow to his penis could reduce and he may lose his erection instantly. In such a situation, all you need do is calm down and indulge in foreplay for a while. If both of you are having sex for the first time, your penis  will stand right up as soon as you feel more relaxed.  Premature ejaculation is something that’s very common when two lovers have sex for the first time. Of course, passions are high and it’s not easy to hold on. If the groom ends up ejaculating too quickly, just focus on the foreplay and forget about having sex for a short while. Since both of you are still young, the groom should be ready for round two in one hour.

Another groom has wondered why his bride is unable to stay wet. Well, the prospect of having sex for the first time could be exciting, but it may not always be arousing. Even if the girl is turned on initially, she may dry up down there after penetration and the sex may start to hurt her. To ensure that the two of you stay turned on, don’t just focus on the penetration and forget about everything else. Continue to kiss, fondle and make love to each other. And if it still doesn’t work, use a lubricant. But be careful of overusing the lubricant. Sometimes, overusing it could make things too slippery to stay in place and it could decrease the sensation too. If you’ve used excess lubricant, just wipe a bit away. In ensuring this, make sure you have enough wipers or toilet paper around. The objective of your first few weeks of sexual encounters should be maximum feminine comfort and maximum masculine control. Do not expect too much harmony in sex for the next few weeks. Even after 13 years of marriage, your knowledge will still be growing in sexual relationship.

- Funmi Akingbade

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