The truth still remains that wholesome
sexual intercourse is a normal and healthy activity between couples,
which they engage in for utmost satisfaction. And during the act, lot of
incredible things happen in human body. One of the major things that
make it interesting is the act of orgasm in which the heart pumps faster
while the individual involved breathes heavily to fuel the muscles.
Then, hormones such as endorphins and
oxytocin send instant messages about this sexual activity to the brain
and other sensitive parts of the body, and in a jiffy, blood is pumped
into the genital regions to create high voltage tension that ultimately
triggers a reflex (that is, a muscular spasm of the genitals). The
immediate reflex results in the pelvic-floor muscles contracting between
five and 15 times at 0.8-second intervals. This in one word is the
wonder of orgasm which has been defined as an explosive discharge of
neuromuscular tension experienced by the two sexual lovers!
Continue reading after the cut.....
Orgasm experience helps to burn out some
amount of fat around the heart tissues and neural pathways in the
spine. This explosive discharge of a neuromuscular tension is not only
peculiar to the male gender, it is experienced by the female gender. The
most prominent and sensitive female organ that could trigger orgasm
anytime there is sexual activity is the clitoris. This organ is about
two inches above the vaginal opening, located in front and above the
opening of the urethra (urine outlet).
It is the most sexually sensitive part
of the female reproductive organ. It becomes slightly enlarged and erect
in response to sexual stimulation. This is called the female ‘sexual
trigger. Most married women do not experience orgasm because their
husbands hardly take quality time to lovingly and gently caress this
organ during foreplay. Sufficient stimulation of this organ during
foreplay produces the orgasm experience in nearly all women.
However, it should be noted that this
must be done with utmost care, as many husbands had, in the course of
caressing the clitoris, inflicted untold pains on their wives. What is
expected of such husbands is merely a tender touch, or better still,
using their tongues or hands to stimulate the organ, which produces
orgasm within a twinkle of an eye. Unfortunately, in most parts of the
African continent, this wonderful structure is usually removed or
mutilated during female circumcision.
The question remains, why are some women
finding it difficult to experience orgasm? The answers are not
far-fetched. Apart from the fact that the organ had been mutilated, some
husbands are not doing justice to it during foreplay or penetrative
sex. Responses to the questionnaires I distributed recently have been
quite revealing.
I was prompted to do this as a result of
a text message sent to me by a fan who wanted to remain anonymous. She
wanted to know the best and easiest way to reach orgasm. She said what
prompted her question was that her family doctor advised her to engage
in more orgasm-oriented sex so that she could handle the medical
challenge she was battling with. She said the doctor told her that
regular sex was vital to maintaining high oestrogen level in women,
which invariably helps to maintain bone and cardiovascular health.
As it is widely known, sex has many
advantages. But regular orgasmic sex has much more. Not only does it
help one’s confidence, self-esteem, vitality, strength and energy, it
also has concrete health benefits. On the other hand, regular sex
without orgasm, especially for a woman, may leave her unsatisfied and
disinterested in sex. In fact, the reason why some women are so
disinterested in sex is because they have not experienced the blissful
release that comes with orgasm.
A resident of Ajah who was one of the
respondents to the questionnaire stated, “More than anything, I love to
make sure that my wife achieves orgasm every time. If I do not see or
hear her scream and pant wildly, then, I do not feel I am a good lover.”
Another man from Abia said, “The sexiest
thing my wife does is that she tells me what she likes in bed. While I
usually reach orgasm in a matter of minutes, it could take her 20
minutes to get there.” He went further to describe his wife as a star
athlete in bed.
Mrs. E.V from Ikeja also said she
experiences orgasm when she meets her husband in unusual places in the
house. “And whenever this is going on, I whisper romantic things into
his ears, which leave me gasping for breath within the twinkle of an
eye. I do not like the idea of going straight for my clitoris. I usually
make this his last resort,” she added.
Mrs. M.R of Sango said varying positions helps her to achieve orgasm especially when her breast is sucked all the way through.
A woman must understand her body and
also pay attention to what both her body and mind say before and during
intercourse. Women need to know the areas of their bodies that could
cause a spark of raw fire. Some of the better known spots include the
G-zone, the inner part of the thighs, the nape of the neck, the nipples
and other places that each individual woman has discovered. It is
important that a wife guides and directs her husband to the parts of her
body that gives her maximum pleasure. This is good for building up
tempo and achieving climax.
For some, creating a special environment
can do the magic. For others, it could be soft music. So, figure out
the kind of atmosphere that works for you. Enlist the cooperation of
your husband to set the tune. Talk about past thrilling experiences to
heighten your state of arousal; fantasise about what you and your
husband will be doing later that evening; visualise every hot detail and
make your whole being respond to his stimulations more quickly. It is
obvious that a lady who had undergone female genital mutilation would
find it difficult to experience orgasm easily, depending on the degree
of the clitoral cut. This category of ladies needs special attention and
extended love play. Husbands are advised to be gentler. Besides,
husbands are also advised to have an outstanding knowledge of this
operation and know what to do whenever the need arises.
Female genital mutilation entails the
removal of the vulva of a woman, either in part or whole. This is done
to reduce female libido and prevent promiscuity. This minor operation
varies; from the removal of the structure that covers and protects the
clitoris and part of the labia, to the total removal of the clitoris and
the labia. The labia is then stitched together locally, leaving a tiny
opening for the flow of menstrual blood and urine. Wives that had
previously undergone this type of local operation at any level will
definitely have painful sex and difficulty during labour and childbirth.
Most times, this category of ladies develops laceration of the uterus
during childbirth which may take time to heal, thus making resumption of
sex between the couple difficult. In spite of this minor operation, the
clitoris and G-spot can heighten sexual pleasure. So, where the
clitoris has been removed for one reason or the other, a wife could
assist her husband to locate her G-spot area along the front wall of her
vagina. The quickest way to experience quick orgasm is to stimulate
these two areas with some strategic positioning.
One last word, frequent orgasm + healthy sex = medical fitness. Try it and keep your sex bed hot.
Culled - Funmi Akingbade
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