Monday, October 5, 2015

[+18] FOR COUPLES ONLY: Libido is not the same as erection (II)

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Before we conclude the causes and cure of low libido, kindly note that it has been found that low libido in men is a much more common complaint. Men who have a reduced sex drive don’t want to talk about it, and the wives don’t want to talk about it either. The wife is afraid that if she says much about it, people will think that her husband is either gay, or she’s a ‘bad lady.’ She also fears that people will say she is unattractive to stir her husband’s passions. And many husbands have the myth that they’re supposed to want it all the time, anywhere, but this is the time and age of high information. You either see a sex therapist or a neurologist or a medical practitioner for help.

Continue reading after the cut.....
Couples need not feel they have to have sex a certain number of times a week to have a good sex life. The best and biggest low libido remedy is just do it. Once the more obvious causes for a man’s low libido have been identified and eliminated, couples must often work through differences in their relationship to arrive at a solution. When your wife is interested, just do it, this has cured a lot of low libido cases.
For couples who have been together longer, anger often stands in the way of one or both partners’ sex drive. By not dealing with marital anger immediately, it can be a big leading cause of low libido. One possible solution is some long, honest talks. Ideally, couples should have sex about thrice a week but assigning a number to normal frequency of sex may not work for some couples considering their temperament, age, health stability, nature of work, general belief and the type of marriage relationship they operate in. And couples should always do what they are happy about and always think about how happy the person next to you is in bed.
But it is very paramount to note that the loss of oestrogen and testosterone following menopause can lead to changes in a woman’s body and sexual drive. Some categories of women in menopausal and postmenopausal may notice that they’re not as easily aroused, and they may be less sensitive to touching and stroking. That can lead to less interest in sex. Also, lower levels of oestrogen can cause a drop in blood supply to the vagina. That can affect vaginal lubrication, causing the vagina to be too dry for comfortable sex — but there’s help for that. Menopause does not lower sex drive in all women. Rather, many postmenopausal women say they’ve got an improved sex drive. That may be due to less anxiety linked to a fear of pregnancy. Also, many postmenopausal women often have fewer child-rearing responsibilities, allowing them to relax and enjoy intimacy with their husbands.
But for some women who do not want sex during menopause, it is still advisable to still take time for intimacy. You can still show your husband love and affection without having sex. Enjoy your time together: take walks, eat dinner out, or give each other back rubs. This gradually leads to good sex. And to improve your physical intimacy, you can consider experimenting with erotic videos or books, and changes to sexual routines. Use distraction techniques to boost relaxation and ease anxiety. These can include erotic or non-erotic fantasies, exercises with sex, and music, videos, or television. Have fun with foreplay, such as sensual massage or oral sex. These activities can make you feel more comfortable and improve communication between you and your husband. Minimise any pain you might have by using sexual positions that allow you to control the depth of penetration. You may also want to take a warm bath before sex to help you relax, and use vaginal lubricants to help ease pain caused by friction. Tell your husband what’s comfortable and what’s not.
It is needful for both husband and wife suffering from low libido to always try to focus on the last time they had real good passionate earth-shaking sex together. Taking just five minutes out of your busy day to replay the specifics of your last really great sexual encounter will whet your appetite and instantly increase your libido. One of the reasons many wives lose their libido is when they constantly compare their bodies’ configuration with some unrealistic body ideals; you will definitely feel unsexy. Remember some of those body types are un-attainable; they are artificial in most cases and yours is just very natural and fine.
A leading cause of loss of sexual interest and drive is the constant bombardment of old night wears both from the man and the woman. So, buy new under things. Throw away those ripped, faded, you’ve-had-them-for-four-years granny panties and invest in some new underwear. The sexier, the better new bikinis, boy shorts, or even basic briefs can make you feel special.
Never forget to stop worrying. When you’re focused on worry, the last thing on your mind is feeling sexy. Husband in particular should see the bedroom as for three things: friendship arena, sleep and sex. TV, iPhone, laptop etc are life’s distractions, they reduce friend-shipness, reduce hugs and keep you from being fully in touch with real life, never mind anyone else and reduce sex drive. When this persists, low libido sets in practically. Stay in a room without these gadgets for one year, you will notice that your sex drive will improve; your libido will be high all because you are friendlier, communicate better, cuddle frequently and have sex often. And if you can exist without them, try to unplug for a few minutes each day so you can plug in to what’s important, your marriage relationship. Focus on just one activity— just gisting together. Tuning out from the world helps make you a priority, which in turn reminds you just how lovable you are.
Nothing kills sensuality, sexuality and sex drive than a room full of baby stuff: toys, diaper bags and crayon-drawn art. Have a space in your house that’s for daddy and mummy only, so you can focus on yourselves. This room should have nothing kid-oriented in it. No toys, no pictures of their adorable faces. It should be an environment for you as lovers, sweethearts instead of mom and dad’s room. No! It’s better captioned with a more erotic name such as the greatest sweethearts’ room.
Both husband and wife should have a positive mental attitude and keep their stress level low. If you feel good and self-confident, you may feel more sexual and attractive to your spouse. Remember, prolonged stress can lead to a diminished interest in sex.
Consider special foods and supplements that claim to increase libido in man and woman. Natural supplements can help increase blood flow and sometimes help fight vaginal dryness. Some natural supplements that may increase libido include: vitamin, zinc, vitamin C, arginine, vitamin A, vitamin C, Beta-carotene, vitamin B6, and vitamin B complex. These nutrients may help to boost sperm count, improve sperm motility, enhance prostate gland function, increase testosterone production and create a healthier nervous system. Some foods that may increase libido include: Celery, raw oysters, bananas, avocado, nuts, mangoes, peaches, strawberries, eggs, liver, figs, garlic, pumpkin and chocolate. Certain foods and natural supplements such as these may add much needed nutrients and minerals to your diet, but they are unlikely to make a bigger impact on your sex drive and sexual performance.

- Funmi Akingbade/Punch

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