Before we conclude the causes and cure of
low libido, kindly note that it has been found that low libido in men
is a much more common complaint. Men who have a reduced sex drive don’t
want to talk about it, and the wives don’t want to talk about it either.
The wife is afraid that if she says much about it, people will think
that her husband is either gay, or she’s a ‘bad lady.’ She also fears
that people will say she is unattractive to stir her husband’s passions.
And many husbands have the myth that they’re supposed to want it all
the time, anywhere, but this is the time and age of high information.
You either see a sex therapist or a neurologist or a medical
practitioner for help.
Continue reading after the cut.....
Continue reading after the cut.....
Couples need not feel they have to have
sex a certain number of times a week to have a good sex life. The best
and biggest low libido remedy is just do it. Once the more obvious
causes for a man’s low libido have been identified and eliminated,
couples must often work through differences in their relationship to
arrive at a solution. When your wife is interested, just do it, this has
cured a lot of low libido cases.
For couples who have been together
longer, anger often stands in the way of one or both partners’ sex
drive. By not dealing with marital anger immediately, it can be a big
leading cause of low libido. One possible solution is some long, honest
talks. Ideally, couples should have sex about thrice a week but
assigning a number to normal frequency of sex may not work for some
couples considering their temperament, age, health stability, nature of
work, general belief and the type of marriage relationship they operate
in. And couples should always do what they are happy about and always
think about how happy the person next to you is in bed.
But it is very paramount to note that the
loss of oestrogen and testosterone following menopause can lead to
changes in a woman’s body and sexual drive. Some categories of women in
menopausal and postmenopausal may notice that they’re not as easily
aroused, and they may be less sensitive to touching and stroking. That
can lead to less interest in sex. Also, lower levels of oestrogen can
cause a drop in blood supply to the vagina. That can affect vaginal
lubrication, causing the vagina to be too dry for comfortable sex — but
there’s help for that. Menopause does not lower sex drive in all women.
Rather, many postmenopausal women say they’ve got an improved sex drive.
That may be due to less anxiety linked to a fear of pregnancy. Also,
many postmenopausal women often have fewer child-rearing
responsibilities, allowing them to relax and enjoy intimacy with their
husbands.
But
for some women who do not want sex during menopause, it is still
advisable to still take time for intimacy. You can still show your
husband love and affection without having sex. Enjoy your time together:
take walks, eat dinner out, or give each other back rubs. This
gradually leads to good sex. And to improve your physical intimacy, you
can consider experimenting with erotic videos or books, and changes to
sexual routines. Use distraction techniques to boost relaxation and ease
anxiety. These can include erotic or non-erotic fantasies, exercises
with sex, and music, videos, or television. Have fun with foreplay, such
as sensual massage or oral sex. These activities can make you feel more
comfortable and improve communication between you and your husband.
Minimise any pain you might have by using sexual positions that allow
you to control the depth of penetration. You may also want to take a
warm bath before sex to help you relax, and use vaginal lubricants to
help ease pain caused by friction. Tell your husband what’s comfortable
and what’s not.
It is needful for both husband and wife
suffering from low libido to always try to focus on the last time they
had real good passionate earth-shaking sex together. Taking just five
minutes out of your busy day to replay the specifics of your last really
great sexual encounter will whet your appetite and instantly increase
your libido. One of the reasons many wives lose their libido is when
they constantly compare their bodies’ configuration with some
unrealistic body ideals; you will definitely feel unsexy. Remember some
of those body types are un-attainable; they are artificial in most cases
and yours is just very natural and fine.
A leading cause of loss of sexual
interest and drive is the constant bombardment of old night wears both
from the man and the woman. So, buy new under things. Throw away those
ripped, faded, you’ve-had-them-for-four-years granny panties and invest
in some new underwear. The sexier, the better new bikinis, boy shorts,
or even basic briefs can make you feel special.
Never forget to stop worrying. When
you’re focused on worry, the last thing on your mind is feeling sexy.
Husband in particular should see the bedroom as for three things:
friendship arena, sleep and sex. TV, iPhone, laptop etc are life’s
distractions, they reduce friend-shipness, reduce hugs and keep you from
being fully in touch with real life, never mind anyone else and reduce
sex drive. When this persists, low libido sets in practically. Stay in a
room without these gadgets for one year, you will notice that your sex
drive will improve; your libido will be high all because you are
friendlier, communicate better, cuddle frequently and have sex often.
And if you can exist without them, try to unplug for a few minutes each
day so you can plug in to what’s important, your marriage relationship.
Focus on just one activity— just gisting together. Tuning out from the
world helps make you a priority, which in turn reminds you just how
lovable you are.
Nothing kills sensuality, sexuality and
sex drive than a room full of baby stuff: toys, diaper bags and
crayon-drawn art. Have a space in your house that’s for daddy and mummy
only, so you can focus on yourselves. This room should have nothing
kid-oriented in it. No toys, no pictures of their adorable faces. It
should be an environment for you as lovers, sweethearts instead of mom
and dad’s room. No! It’s better captioned with a more erotic name such
as the greatest sweethearts’ room.
Both husband and wife should have a
positive mental attitude and keep their stress level low. If you feel
good and self-confident, you may feel more sexual and attractive to your
spouse. Remember, prolonged stress can lead to a diminished interest in
sex.
Consider special foods and supplements
that claim to increase libido in man and woman. Natural supplements can
help increase blood flow and sometimes help fight vaginal dryness. Some
natural supplements that may increase libido include: vitamin, zinc,
vitamin C, arginine, vitamin A, vitamin C, Beta-carotene, vitamin B6,
and vitamin B complex. These nutrients may help to boost sperm count,
improve sperm motility, enhance prostate gland function, increase
testosterone production and create a healthier nervous system. Some
foods that may increase libido include: Celery, raw oysters, bananas,
avocado, nuts, mangoes, peaches, strawberries, eggs, liver, figs,
garlic, pumpkin and chocolate. Certain foods and natural supplements
such as these may add much needed nutrients and minerals to your diet,
but they are unlikely to make a bigger impact on your sex drive and
sexual performance.
- Funmi Akingbade/Punch
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