[+18] Are #Sex triggers in men and women the same? - Funmi Akingbade

Do men really have stronger sex drives than women? Well on the average, yes, they do. Men have stronger sex drive than women but not in all cases, and what trigger men are far different from women’s triggers. Study has shown that men’s sex drives are not only stronger than women’s, but much more straightforward. The sources of women’s libidos, by contrast, are much harder to pin down, because women place more value on emotional connection as a spark of sexual desire and they are to a large extent influenced by social, religious and cultural factors.

Men under 60 think about sex at least once or twice a day, and have more spontaneous sexual arousal while only about one-quarter of women think about it that frequently. As men and women age, they fantasise less, but men still fantasise about twice or more as often with all sort of varied fantasies. At the start of any relationship, men want sex more often than women but, in the middle of it, and after many years, all things being equal, both may just be on the same frequencies. Sometimes men are more likely to seek sex even when it’s frowned upon or even forbidden.

Continue reading after the cut....

Man’s sexual triggers are easily predictable while a woman’s sexual turn-ons are more complicated. They always seem not to have a clue themselves. While men easily agreed to be turned on by various sexual sights, majority of women are thoughtful about whom they become aroused by, who they want to have sex with and who they fall in love with. Statistics says highly literate women are wired to choose their life partners carefully; they are likely to be more attuned to relationship than pleasure.

But when it comes to sexual desire, men and women travel slightly different paths to arrive at sexual desire. Many women arousal desire originates much more between their ears than between the legs; it is more about the anticipation, how they get there that matters most to them. Their desire is more circumstantial, more subjective, more coated on a framework of emotion, at times sentiment and feeling.

But on the contrary men don’t need to have nearly as much imagination, sex is mostly basic simply and straightforward. That doesn’t mean men don’t seek intimacy, love, and connection in a relationship, just as women do. They just view the role of sex differently. Women want to talk first, connect first, then have sex. For men, sex itself is actually the connection. Sex is the language men use to express their tender loving vulnerable side. It is their language of intimacy.

Men, on average, take seven minutes from the point of entry until ejaculation; women usually take around 12 to 15 minutes to reach orgasm; some do not at all. Women’s libidos seem to be more responsive to happiness, love, tenderness, care, comfort and caring than drugs. Men’s sex drives seemingly seem more directly tied to physiological response. Compared to women, it may be no surprise that low desire may be more easily treated through medication in men. Men have embraced drugs as a cure not only for erectile dysfunction but also for a shrinking libido. But with women, more of understanding with medicine gets their libido revived.

Many couples love to see their spouse grow in sexual desire with them in the relationship. If you want your sexual desire to stand the test of time, it is key that you maintain a strong emotional connection with each other.

Be attentive. When your spouse is venting or sharing thoughts about any topic, listen. Really listen. Try to understand what they are saying and what their personal connection is to the topic. When appropriate, empathise and show compassion. Join your spouse in activities they enjoy. When you both enjoy the same activities, make sure to take advantage of the mutual interest. To nurture your relationship even more, spend some time participating in your partner’s interests.

Show your love in a way that connects with them. You might feel most loved when your partner says those magic three words or when they offer to help you run errands. However, your partner may not feel the same way. They might feel most loved when you are engaged in listening to them discuss their passion or when you encourage them to take on some feared but personally important challenge. So, learn what makes your partners feel most loved and offer it to them. Putting these tips into action is a great sexual desire growth and connection. Married couples can take things even further by brainstorming some ideas for connecting that are specific to their relationship and individual personalities. Even just participating in those conversations about connection can deepen the relationship and harmonise sexual desire.

Culled -  Funmi Akingbade/Punch

Share your thoughts...thanks!